i Old Crow's Special "Art" Theft Rant

Stompin' Wombat's Intergalactic Trading Post

"Art" Theft Special Rant

This rant is in honor of Ethane, who can actually draw artwork. Check out his webcomic: Listening to 11.975MHz.

OK, here is the deal. The following website was pointed out to the Crow:

http://www.angelfire.com/extreme3/art_theft/art_theft_pics.html

Now one begins to understand why the word 'art' is in double-quotes in the title of this rant. Lets address this art-theft concept on multiple levels, ranging from actual theft to pure sarcasm.

  • 1) Artwork by default has to have some sort of intrinsic value in order for theft of such pieces to have any merit. These examples have no intrinsic value whatsoever, and in fact their space occupancy on some ISP's web server hard disk would be better spent as pr0n. Stealing such images is unthinkable: the art sucks. The only possible reason for use of the images without permission is for satire or parody, which by law is legal to do (e.g., a picture of the Mona Lisa with a moustache drawn on it).

  • 2) Literary content. Try to imagine Robert Ludlum or Ursula K. LeGuin writing something such as: "wether you are filled with envy or jelousy, stealing art is no way to make yourself feel better or more of an artist, far too many have left the art world because of theives. Theives only lower themselves by stealing others art. Remember that. Steal art and you will forever be shunned from the art world. YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US."

    Folks, Hunter S. Thompson at the height of one of his LSD trips could scribble lines better than this. At the very least he would spell 'whether', 'jealousy', and 'thieves' correctly. Of course, a professional writer has an editor to tell him when he's creating crap. Perhaps artists should, too. The most entertaining aspect of this entire debacle are the theft examples listed here on the main page. The only folks stealing this crap are 11 year-olds.

  • 3) Compare these images. Which would be the more likely candidate for theft?

    (if image does not load click URL above and select the mutant pink thing)

    I guess I'm just not one of you. Thank God I'm not one of you.

  • 4) "Sunalure" is worthy of its own bullet item. The question posed is: what the hell is this animal? It is some strain of mutant Escher pinko subversive wolf? Can this creature stand having a tail blossom from its anus? And what of the hind leg? Given that the paws of the animal assume a straight line, is the animal supposed to flop over onto its side or is it supported by a snow drift? The center of mass for this poor beast is such that it must walk on the front legs only. Aha! Now it is understood. This is a paraplegic wolf, and the hind leg..is not a leg at all.

    Look, Sunalure! I'm stealing your piece of rat-crap art! No, not the Greg Farrell piece--that is awesome. Aren't you going to chase me? Oh, you flopped over--those legs must be a bitch. While you're lying there, can we use your name for a new tanning lotion? "Sic" me, Sunalure!

    Incidentally, sic is a propos to this rant in one regard. It can be used to clarify the piss-poor spelling in the statement "wether[sic] you are filled with envy or jelousy[sic], stealing art is no way to make yourself feel better or more of an artist, far too many have left the art world because of theives[sic]. Theives[sic] only lower themselves by stealing others art. Remember that. Steal art and you will forever be shunned from the art world. YOU ARE NOT ONE OF US."

    Judging from the quality of the art on this site, these artists wannabes aren't "one of us" (us meaning 'true artists' or some equivalent crap) either. What a freaking joke.

    The Old Crow